Zum Nachvollziehen meines Leidens und/oder Freude

You know you're an Au Pair in the USA when... ...you always introduce yourself with : "Hi! my name is (your name), I'm from (country) and I have (amount of children you are taking care of) children!!" ...you know that every american is somehow related to a German!!! ...you are drinking the water you used to swim in when you were little (Chlor-Wasser) and you don't mind anymore! ...everybody is greeting you with a "Hi! How are you!" and most of the time you can't respond fast enough, so you say it first! ...the worst thing is, when the dad is working from home!!! ...you know what a S'MORE is. ...you spent all your money at the MALL and you still have nothing to wear ...you hate Dora, The Wiggles and Thomas ...you say silly instead of stupid ...you go to PLAYDATES ...you've seen more movies in one month than in your whole life at home ...you drive over 30 minutes to a friend and you think it's not far ...you only have other Au Pairs as your friends ...you can make bacon ...you say "like" and "totally" every three words ...someone has asked you silly questions like: "Do you have cars in Germany?" - "You don't have Thanksgiving?" - "How long does it take to DRIVE to Europe?" ...you don't think it's wrong to have cake AND ice cream. ...you park as close to the store as possible so you don't have to walk even one yard too far ...you cherish moments of silence more than ever before ...you notice yourself saying "GOOD JOB" a hundred times a day ...you even start to say "Good for you" in a positiv way and you don't mean the german "schön für dich"!!! ...you wonder why you slept the whole night long so uncomfortable and you notice the next morning, you slept on a barbie, a lollypop, sandtoys etc. ... you need to be creative to find new punishments because a time-out doesn't work anymore ;) ... you have to admit to mistakes you never did or put the blame on you day after day ...you're sure you don't want own kids within the next 100 years ...you know now exactly how difficult it was for your parents to have little kids and you feel like saying sorry for all you've done to your mum and dad every day ...you're ready to drink anytime of the day ...you start to love disney movies again and can copy every passage of them ...you've learned what it means to be patient ...you know what a LCC is ...you know that you should never SHAKE A BABY!!! ...you take a nap, after you dropped of the kids at school (after being up for just 2h :-D) ...you are DRIVING to the busstop to pick up your kids, which is only 200 meters from your house. ...the kids call you mum 'cause you spend too much time with them ... you think $160 every weekend just for shopping and coffee are not that much ... one cup of coffee doesn`t make you awake anymore, it just makes you alive. ...you or your friends are KELLERKINDER!!!! ...you miss the good ol' days when you were able to go to the bakery and get real bread w/ real crust ( not that American sh** called bread..haha) ...you don't walk into the bank, you use the drive inn to get your money ...you use Purell instead of washing your hands ...advil becomes your best friend ...you get four plastic bags for the can of milk and the one pack of oreos at stop and shop (well...at least they pack it for you :D ) ...you feel guilty of murder, when you forget the snack for school... ..you can't say "no" anymore if your hostmum asks you "could you please...if you get the chance... just if it is no problem"